When She's Gone Chapter 3 (Fluttershy POV)

I lay on the floor numb. The tears had stopped a few days ago. I couldn't cry anymore but I couldn't forget either. I lifted my head to notice the calender tacked on my wall. Today marked the third week. Three weeks today our best friend had gone missing. I couldn't help but give up hope. We'd searched everywhere the first week and never found a thing. I couldn't take the misery of searching and coming up empty handed. So after a week of searching I decided i'd rather be alone with my animals and try to cope with having lost such an important friend. I go through each day in a fog. The same role everyday. I'd long shut the shudders to my little cottage so I couldn't see the doom and gloom skies that seemed to stay since her disappearance. I wake up each day lying on the floor, where I'd decided to stay because I couldn't stand being comfortable in a bed. I feed each animal and tell them everything is going to be okay, though I can tell they know i'm lying. I dumped all the dead plants from lack of care and sunshine a week ago though I couldn't bring myself to care that it was my fault they hadn't survived.

Everypony was starting to give up on the search now. I only know because both Applejack and Rarity had been by to try to get me out to help with funeral preparations. I never answered them, I couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone. I didn't want to give in to the possibility that my friend could very possibly be dead. But I decided that I wasn't going to believe either one. I wouldn't hope she was coming back, but I wasn't going to totally give into the idea that she was dead. I wasn't the only one that didn't want to believe that though. And even though I've begun to block most things out, I couldn't bring myself to forget Rainbow's harsh words on the day I quit the search.

I had been in my cottage for an hour and I couldn't stop sobbing. I hated giving up but I couldn't keep looking in the same places and getting my hopes up to find nothing. I was lying on the floor with animals laying on top of me, trying not to think about the fact I'd lost hope. My animals couldn't grasp why I was so sad and I knew it made them uneasy. They all made quiet whimpering sounds listening to my sobs as they overtook my trembling body. Suddenly there was pounding on my door and Rainbow's loud harsh voice pierced through to almost quiet sobbing and whimpering.

"Fluttershy!!" I resisted the urge to cover my ears, I deserved to hear what ever she had to say. "Get out here!!" She yelled. I didn't move. I'd listen but I wasn't coming out. "How DARE you give up on the search! The search for OUR FRIEND! YOUR friend! The reason you even know you're an Element of Harmony! You little wimp! You've always been a wimp! You'd rather sleep and let things happen!" That was a low blow but I deserved it so I said nothing. I didn't expect someone to speak up on my behalf but suddenly I heard a voice with a southern drawl.

"Rainbow!" Applejack's voice broke through the thin walls and a thud as she stomped her hoof."Now you're goin' too far Sugarcube!" Her voice surprised and upset. But I didn't agree with her. It's not that I didn't know rainbow was right I just couldn't do anything else.


"What!? You too chicken to even answer me? Fine! We don't need your help! Twilight don't need you either! I don't need you! Stay here! You're not welcome in our search anymore! We'll find her without you! Then how will you feel? Knowing Twilight know you gave up on her like that!" I winced at the name of our missing friend. After a moment I guess she got fed up and flew off cause I heard a loud, "UGH!" and then a silence. I thought maybe i'd been left alone until I heard a quit sigh and a light knock on my door.

"Sugarcube??" I heard the quiet, sweet voice of Applejack. "It's okay, Hun. Take all the time ya need. We'll be here for ya. Don't mind Rainbow. She's taking it hard too. Just in her own way." and with that she left and I was once again alone to wallow in the guilt of giving up finding one of my closest friends.

So here I am wallowing and trying to forget I'm not sure if i'll ever forgive myself. I await for this week to come to an end and for it to be time for me to have to make the agonizing decision: Stay in or go to the funeral. I spend everyday hoping that wherever my friend is, she'd one day forgive me for being the coward I am and for whatever decision I make next week. One things for sure: whatever happens I'll never stop loving that wonderful pony that held us together. That amazing friend that is..... T-Twilight Sparkle.

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Prologue: [link]

Chapter 4: [link]